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2017-01-04 Tiburon - Under The Hood

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booneylander
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Here she is with her dress hoisted a la Marylin Monroe. Don't mind the section of PVC plumbing pipe being used to keep the hood up, just the hood struts are pooched. My Ford failed the safety because the hood struts were bad, but in Hawaii, well let's say the ANNUAL "safeties" are pretty lax, as you'll see.

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The battery was dead and needed to be boosted when the car was on the lot. Even though I'm sure it was fine and just had been sitting too long, they put a new one in, which was nice of them. Now let's have a look at some of the not so nice bits.

In the photos below you'll spot some interesting eBay add-ons that made their way onto the car for some reason. Firstly, you'll notice the 24K gold plated super negative terminal post with ground straps. Because I guess the stock one that works fine is insufficient, you really need to run some 4AWG cables to a bunch of bolts on the motor and chassis. You know, in case your engine should suddenly need to discharge 65 thousand watts of pent up HORSE POWERRRRRSSSS... Let's just nevermind the fact that we're still using stock (+) cables on everything. Because you know. eBay. Oh and in the second pic towards the bottom you'll see where the one cable was chafing against the (+) terminal on the battery. Safety first.

Next up you'll notice the VIOLENCE RAIZIN VOLT STABILIZER. Because no one wants unstable volts. This thing houses a bunch of capacitors by the looks of things. And there's a big ol' 4AWG cable for the (+) terminal and another for a chassis ground. This device reportedly (according to the forumz), stabilizes your power delivery, make the car idle smoother (what?), keeps your headlights from dimming when you turn stuff on, and frees up about 5-7hp (I shit you not, that's what one of the car mags claims to have backed up on the dyno). Now there's only one problem. Some capacitance could, potentially, smooth out the voltage spikes and dips that happen with varying loads, IF they were hooked up in series between the battery and the car's electrical system. But this gizmo is hooked to the (+) and essentially the (-). Soooo... power can flow through the circuit, and have no effect on anything... and that's about it. Not to mention the thing's hooked up all the time, so if current was actually passing through it to "do" something, it would kill the batt when it was sitting not running. And those caps are tiny little itty bitty things too, like they could actually hold any kind of meaningful charge.

Next on the crock list is the Pro-Coat rust killer doodad. Now as we all know impressed current cathodic protection devices can't actually keep anything from rusting unless whatever you are trying to protect was sitting in an electrolyte, so unless you drive around in an aquarium full of seawater all the time, these are just a crock.

It seems the guys that replaced the battery were smart enough to unhook the violence and pro coat shenanigans. I just pulled them out completely.

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man, someone took the 'big 3 upgrade' to the next lel. Love the 'Power Heavy Weapon' sub-description. That sounds like a feature I would like my weapon on Borderlands to have when taking down some super badbass loaders. Brad knows what I'm talking about. - ripcurl January 19th 2017

Next up was this hack-job. So here's how this went down:

Dude: "Bruh, you need to puts some sweet eBay blue light in him" Bruh: "Dude, sweet idea" Dude: "Bruh you blew out the fuses for your high beams and low beams" Bruh; "Dude, put me some piece metal there to bridge" Dude: "Bruh she work... oh shit now you blow headlight relays" Bruh: "Dude, put me back the normal lights and fix my relays" Dude: "Shootz bruh, but the relays gotta go buy parts, I got some wire and some relays from my eBay foglight left ova cuz I went direct no relay, I use those" Bruh: "Shootz dude"

So when I got the car, the low beams worked (well, one bulb was burnt out). I had no high beams because they ran out of fuses presumably and didn't think to use the spare that was sitting right there in the fuse box. So I ordered the correct relays on rockauto for like $2 a piece and replaced the fuse. Don't worry though, it passed safety like this. Oh, and they carved a nice slot out the side of the fuse box cover to run the wires, or maybe a better term would be "gnawed".

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The car has a CEL, when I read the code P0102 while checking the car out at the dealer, I used that to get a price reduction. I re and re'd the MAF thusly: remove the upper airbox cover and unclip the connector by lifting up the metal lock, then loosen the clamp on the back side and pull it out. Insert new MAF and connect then attach upper airbox cover. I bought a refurb MAF locally at NAPA and it was a bit pricey but hey it really made the car drive poorly so I wanted to fix it, like yesterday. Problem was solved

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Next I jacked the car up so I could get at the oil drain bolt. Someone had misplaced the jack handle it seem so I had to make due. Anyway, I let the oil drain and removed the shitty filter that was on it and replaced it with a good WIX one. I'll get some OEM filters for future changes as this motor apparently only really likes the OEM filters to ensure enough oil pressure gets to the hydraulic lifters, as otherwise you'll get a very annoying lifter noise when you first start the car, which was a problem with mine. The oil that came out was.... not nice. This aspect had clearly been neglected in the car's late life.

While the oil drained completely I did a quick buff of the headlights with a foam ball on the drill and some Meguiars Plast-X. They came out alright though if I wanted to get real fancy I should bust out the 2000 grit and go to town then re-buff them.

Lastly, you'll see my little snail buddy that was helping me out. And by helping, I mean I moved him out of the way so I wouldn't crush him while walking around the car.

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